About a month ago, I had a series of dreams. In each of the dreams, I was in a car and my mother was driving. The car was swerving and dodging other cars on the road, and at times, it felt like we would crash. In the dream she was talking to me, fussing actually, and challenging me to figure out what it would take to really make me happy. In fact, the dreams were so profound and alarming that throughout the night I woke up not once, but three times only to return to the same dream sequence upon dozing back off. When I woke up the next morning, I just had to figure out the meaning of these dreams.
I enjoy dreams. I think they provide divine guidance to us when we allow them. I like to try and interpret my dreams and use them to help me get a better view of what it is I really want and need. I’m quite amateur really, but I enjoy piecing together the symbolic messages in my dreams. And so I did. I set about interpreting this dream and the message I discovered was quite profound.
The dream was a simple message for me that it is time to make some major changes in my life. You see… in our dreams, cars represent our life and because in each of my dreams my mother was driving my car the initial question I had to ask myself was quite simply … “Why was I not driving my own car?”
And then it hit me … Sometimes in life we spend our energy, time and effort letting other people drive our cars. In good faith, we hope by being good enough to others they will choose us, be good to us and honor us in return. Through them we hope we can make our dreams come true. Often times, however, we discover through pain and hardship that they are unworthy of having the keys to our life’s journey. Sometimes we spend countless years waiting, hoping and believing in others only to end up in dead end relationships with dreams deferred and our goals unmet. We spend half of our lives cruising along living complacently hoping these dead end roads will lead us to our heart’s desires. And we spend life complaining and blaming God for this cruelty when in reality it was us who gave others permission to take the wheel.
As I look back, I see how easily I let pain from my past make me give up on pursuing my heart’s desires. After my husband left me almost 10 years ago, I think I stopped living the life I wanted and learned somehow to accept life as it showed up. And in doing this, I turned the steering wheel of my life over to others and stopped trusting God to show me the way. I now clearly see how I allowed people and circumstances to drive me places I never thought of going, didn’t want to go and probably should’ve never gone. And in the end this type of resignation has only produced more pain.
Well thank God that’s over. No more backseat riding for me. You see… Sometimes we are so busy waiting for others to drive us where we want to go that we end up detoured and delayed from life’s promises. So I’m taking the wheel back. I’m getting back in the driver’s seat of my life, and I’m ready to drive this thing to the wheels fall off. After all … my life and my dreams are worth it.
I will stop trusting others with the keys to my heart and instead trust the One who can drive me effortlessly and get me safely there. From now on, I’m driving my own car. I’m snatching my keys back and driving toward the life God promised me.
It’s a month later, and since discovering this truth I must say I’m driving more smoothly these days. I can see the road so much more clearly from here, and I must say the view is amazing. I’m in control of this ride and the road is a lot less bumpy. And by showing up in my life this way, for the first time in years life is showing up for me. I’m truly excited about what’s to come and know there’s goodness in store if I trust this road. And isn’t that the real intent of our suffering after all? To grow us, challenge us and to lead us on a beautiful journey toward life renewed, full of promise and abundantly more than all we could have ever asked or hoped for. So Buckle Up! And enjoy the ride.