This Moment

 Leap-4.28.16

So it all comes down to this.  This very moment.  A moment that has haunted me for years.  When and where to start? Last night I finally realized that I’ve been avoiding this elusive moment my entire life.  And it’s keeping me from my destiny.  Wrapping up a week in Amsterdam of learning, growing and stretching myself outside of my comfort zone, I received a phone call from a friend on the West Coast around two o’clock in the morning.  The call stirred something in me.  “Why is she calling me?” “She never calls me.”  “What’s wrong?” I woke up and began thinking about her.  The message was short, sweet and simple. In it, she shared the news of her husband’s unexpected termination after 30 years with his firm.  She said I didn’t need to call her back and while logically I knew she was okay, I heard something in her voice that let me know she needed to be reassured.  So I got up, turned on the light and called her.  Her voicemail greeted me and I left a short and sweet message letting her know I heard her, I was with her (even if I was thousands of miles and multiple time zones away), and it would be okay because life has taught me that in the end it always will be.  I laid back down and tried to go back to sleep and something deep inside me began to speak.  A revelation broke through.  “There are no guarantees you’ll get this chance again.  So what are you waiting for? When is the right time? Never.  How much thinking, planning, delaying and avoiding do you have to do before you just take the leap and JUMP – full fledged, open hearted into the life you’ve always wanted?”  I’ve always known I was called to write.  Will I be good enough?  I don’t know.  Will I help someone? Maybe I will.  Maybe I won’t. But perhaps I may just help myself. Help myself stop thinking about living and simply start living.  Who would’ve thought in a moment of helping someone else, I’d get my answer?  When will be the right time?  There will never be a right time – there is no other time than now.  And so I decided to write … And just like that I threw off my fear, leaped over all those years of insecurity and enjoyed the simplicity of this terribly overthought moment.  Today was my day!

Shani

Comments

You may also like