Letting Go Even When It Hurts


Releasing someone from my heart is truly one of the most difficult processes I’ve had to endure.  Sometimes we are so busy holding onto our memories of people we’ve loved and what they meant to us that we are unable to appreciate the gifts that they brought us. However, when I accept that the lessons they taught me are necessary for my growth, then I am able to accept what is and push through the pain. And so it is.  When the lessons have been learned we move on. It’s really quite that simple.  This beautifully tragic ebb and flow of joy and pain is really our life’s journey and, in essence, God’s beautifully crafted story.  So instead of staying stuck in my pain, I embrace it, as difficult as it may be, and work to accept the reality of my losses by expressing gratitude for the joy those I’ve loved have provided my life – if only for a season.  As painful as this form of releasing may be, accepting God’s will for my life and those I love makes it easier to let go, heal and move on.

I don’t profess to be an expert at this by any means, but God has served this lesson up to me in multiple ways and different times throughout my life so I trust the process immensely even when I can’t understand it.  Even when it hurts to trust, in the end I’ve found that the hardest thing to do is often the very thing that is needed to grow. Let it go. In fact, during these times is when I tend to hear God with crystal clarity.  In this place, I am solely dependent on Him.  And so He often finds me right there in the midst of my heartache, heartbreak and pain struggling and flailing to find peace amidst it all.

When I am wrestling with the why’s and why nots, struggling to control the outcome for what I believe to be my best good, He meets me at my most vulnerable and broken places, grabs hold of my hand and reminds me that life as He has envisioned is so much sweeter if I will only let go and trust Him.  And it is only when I stop holding on, stop resisting the pain, stop hoping for times past to return and simply release my fear and grab hold of Him that I …. Exhale.  It will be all right.  It always is. And it always will be. So I’ve learned to let go even when it hurts.

In fact, I always find that letting go is more about releasing daily interactions than it is about releasing love itself.  When I accept the physical loss and reflect on the time we shared I am often grateful for I realize we are better, stronger and more beautiful people because of the imprints we’ve left on each others’ lives.

Losing love does not rob you of the joy you experienced while it was there. Love never fails.  And while the physical absence of love is a painful reminder of the person, it is also oddly enough the same reason one day, in time, we will celebrate.  Each day, I thank God that he has blessed me with an open heart that is able to give and receive love despite the offenses it has endured. Not everyone is able to love like this. I am grateful I know the value of each day for tomorrow is not promised.

Losing love hurts. The pain cannot be minimized.  It hurts every single time. It sucks. Yet there is beauty that emerges from the ashes of our broken heartedness when we allow it.  In time, there will be new growth and new life that springs forth from the wellspring of our pain.  And it is only when we allow God to till and overturn that which is infertile in our lives that we are redirected and set forth to step into a fresh, new journey. And in place of our dried, cracked souls, life reborn returns more abundant, restored and renewed by our tears and ready to greet us.  Fresh. New. And alive.



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