If I could put into words how I’m feeling these days the only word that would even come close would be well … Happy. Unadulterated contentment. When I think back over the last few years to say they were difficult would be an understatement. They were some of the toughest of my life. But just like my dad told me so many years ago when my first life storm hit, “Spring always returns”. And just like that everything is in bloom. I’m happier, so much happier, these days and I must admit I’m finding it harder to write without the ammunition of pain spurring me along. Yet, although I am in one of the happiest seasons I can remember in a long time, I am painfully aware of the suffering of so many others.
Perhaps that is God’s way with us. To steer us safely to the other side of our pain so that we in turn can reach back and extend our hand to others letting them know they are not alone. And in fact, there were others ahead waiting on the shore for me to welcome me, dry you me off, give me solace and return me to life. Angel upon angel descended upon me with messages of comfort, restoration, hope and love in just the right ways and at just the right times so that I, though desolate, never did extinguish hope. It was always there. Quiet. Steadfast. Unbothered. Ever Present. For it knew that in time everything wrong would be made right.
Indeed the best thing I’ve done for myself to date was take a time out on loving others so that I could focus on loving me. What I thought would take one year, in fact, took two and in the rear view mirror of it all I now see so clearly how utterly neglected I’d become and absolutely necessary resting was.
And isn’t that our way? Running around so keenly focused on loving and caring for others that we cannot properly care for ourselves. Day in and out we hold our busy-ness high for all to see like some valiant badge of honor that validates our worthiness. Nonsense. I hope to never return to her or that place again. She is no longer needed for the journey ahead. Growth is the most beautiful blessing.
So today I’m content with the simplicity of it all. Life unfolding. It makes me smile. Big toothed, wide grinning happiness. She’s here. And if that was needed for this type of peace to come forth. Then, in the end, the suffering was worth it all.
So to whoever you are, wherever you are along life’s journey. Today is just a day in your story. It’s never the end. So no matter how hard or painful it feels. Don’t give up. Let hope flow. And know that in time it will guide you safely back to shore.