Higher Callings

There are without a doubt these crossroad moments in life where we know God is calling us to something higher, but the louder He calls, the harder we dig our heels into the currency of our situations.  These seasons can be difficult, but I’ve learned when I surrender and give in to the calling the most beautiful blessings sprout forth.

He’s calling me in this season.  Right here and right now. I can feel Him flowing through my very being, and yet the way seems unclear.  So, I wait.  Wait for the right time.  Wait for the right sign. Wait for the right plan to take shape and unfold in my mind so I can … LEAP.  Free and clear of impediments, danger, failure and all the gremlins lurking in my head keeping me from His path and my way.

Inevitably though, what I’ve found to be true is the feeling never subsides until I Let. It. Go.  and trust Him with the fullness of my heart.  Throwing caution to the wind, it is not until I am able to pray my way through to the other side, letting my faith guide the way, that I am able to clear the hurdle of uncertainty.  For it is only when I stop trying to figure out the “how” that He is able to step in and release the “what”.

And so, He waits for me – ever so patiently waits for me- on the other side of my struggle holding a tenfold blessing that I could have never imagined.  It is up to me though to muster up the courage to move.  It can be no other way.

And isn’t that so much our truth?   Waiting on the right time.  Waiting on the right plan. Waiting on the right moment.  Waiting on the “how” to unfold instead of trusting “what” we’ve been told.  I am no different. 

I’ve been in a reflective place for the last year or so thinking about my life and what I’d like the rest of my time here on this beautiful Earth to look like.  I’m tired of pursuing success.  I crave significance.  Making a difference seems to be what matters most these days.  Touching someone’s heart.  Having a lasting impact or change in the trajectory of someone’s life.  Being present and enjoying the company of my niece and nephew or having a great heartfelt conversation with a good friend over a great meal.  I long to sit at my mother’s feet and listen to her tell childhood stories of growing up in the south during segregation. I want to make memories … etching each indelible print in my heart and mind forever. This is my what.  It’s time to let God show me how.

Somewhere along the way someone led me to believe my worth was tied to my accomplishments.  I was taught to strive and achieve and work hard to make more, acquire more, and be more.  I believed I was not enough so I worked harder, tried harder and lived harder only to find that IT was not enough.  It is not.  ENOUGH.  I crave simplicity these days.  Quiet stillness enveloping me as write snuggled up in the coziest blanket ever made with a hot cup of tea in the morning… yeah that makes my heart smile.

And so I’ll patiently let Him do this work in me as He turns my art into His masterpiece, and I will choose to celebrate the journey more than the pain.

Bless Up,

Shani

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The Truth About Us

The truth about us, you and I, is we are so different we are the same.  I long for you to see me. My truth.  Validate my possiblity and give me what my soul craves.  Recognition.  Affirmation.  Solace. Love. Eternity.  Yet the more I cry out for you, the more I realize the inevitable.  You […]

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BE Gone FEAR

So often, we are stagnated by our own fear.  Paralyzed, we cannot move to the next level or begin a new chapter until we face it head on, stare it in its eye and refuse to be moved.  But that’s the problem with fear isn’t it?  It’s so darn elusive, it’s hard for us to […]

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Forgiveness Starts with Me

It’s funny how quickly our lives can ebb and flow from the extremely happy to the profoundly sad, from the completely comfortable to the utterly chaotic and just as quickly return to calm. At times, I find myself in constant flux aiming for some routine balance of peace and happiness these days. Quite honestly, that’s […]

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Loving Them Was Killing Me

Needless to say this year has not disappointed me.  In fact, if we wrapped the year up today, I’d log it as epic and it would go down in my life story as one of the best ever.  Not only has releasing The Love Project, helped me realize the power of raising my voice, but […]

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Sign Me Up: I’m Your Girl

As I sit here on my flight headed back to Atlanta from The Love Project experience this weekend, my heart is full.  Who knew this little book inspired by pain would unleash so much brokenness and start a full blown movement toward healing our hearts so that we can truly live and be all God has […]

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Getting Out of My Way

There are these amazing moments in life when we give birth to ideas and dreams we have been nurturing for years.  Last Saturday was one of those moments for me.  Honestly, I cannot begin to articulate the feeling of standing strong and tall having risen above the persecution, the agony, the pain and defeat of […]

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Walking Into My Destiny

I am so honest to God full of emotion right now. I really don’t know where to start, but these are the times when writing is the only thing that makes sense. Yesterday, my dream turned into reality.  As I sat in my kitchen holding the proof copy of my first book, The Love Project, […]

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Getting Back To Happy

On the last morning of my trip to the Bahamas, I woke up with a particular Bible verse on my heart.  “His mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness.”  It was particularly poignant because while journeying through my five days on the island my heart and mind were so full of crap I […]

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Who’s Driving Your Car?

About a month ago, I had a series of dreams.  In each of the dreams, I was in a car and my mother was driving.  The car was swerving and dodging other cars on the road, and at times, it felt like we would crash.  In the dream she was talking to me, fussing actually, […]

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