BE Gone FEAR

So often, we are stagnated by our own fear.  Paralyzed, we cannot move to the next level or begin a new chapter until we face it head on, stare it in its eye and refuse to be moved.  But that’s the problem with fear isn’t it?  It’s so darn elusive, it’s hard for us to recognize it when it rears its ugly head.

Needless to say, last year allowed me to face my fears head on, and if I haven’t learned anything from the experience what I have learned is that on the other side of our fear is something magnificent, beckoning us and ready to guide us toward something greater than we know.  I mean seriously, how many times have you known you needed to get going, act, replace, release, move on or simply elevate, however, you let the million reasons why you couldn’t keep you frozen in place?

For twelve years, I’ve fought and battled God’s calling on my life. Sharing the deepest, darkest, shadow sides of myself with complete strangers was never a path I’d have chosen.  Yet, in fact it was the path paved and set aside just for me.  “I don’t want to be the poster child for mental illness,” I’ve silently screamed amidst tears.   In fact, no one said I had to be.

In reality, I wasn’t being called to less, I was being called to more.  A calling to expose my darkness so that others could see in me their own light.  Little did I know in the end, however, it would be me who’d be set free. And on the other side of twelve years of pain, struggle, sacrifice, embarrassment and shame I’d be allowed to see clearly that truth.  There was never any power in my FEAR.

So imagine my surprise when I was able to stand up and dust myself off, shed twelve years of victimization and brokenness and replace them with a beautiful cloak of redemption, grace and love.  Standing fully in all of my magnificent power, today I am now free and able to Just. Be. Me.

BE Gone FEAR.  You are no longer welcome here.  And with that life became beautiful again.  A place prepared long before me and exquisitely awaiting my arrival.  And just like that my life truly began.

Happy New Year!

Shani

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