BE Gone FEAR

So often, we are stagnated by our own fear.  Paralyzed, we cannot move to the next level or begin a new chapter until we face it head on, stare it in its eye and refuse to be moved.  But that’s the problem with fear isn’t it?  It’s so darn elusive, it’s hard for us to recognize it when it rears its ugly head.

Needless to say, last year allowed me to face my fears head on, and if I haven’t learned anything from the experience what I have learned is that on the other side of our fear is something magnificent, beckoning us and ready to guide us toward something greater than we know.  I mean seriously, how many times have you known you needed to get going, act, replace, release, move on or simply elevate, however, you let the million reasons why you couldn’t keep you frozen in place?

For twelve years, I’ve fought and battled God’s calling on my life. Sharing the deepest, darkest, shadow sides of myself with complete strangers was never a path I’d have chosen.  Yet, in fact it was the path paved and set aside just for me.  “I don’t want to be the poster child for mental illness,” I’ve silently screamed amidst tears.   In fact, no one said I had to be.

In reality, I wasn’t being called to less, I was being called to more.  A calling to expose my darkness so that others could see in me their own light.  Little did I know in the end, however, it would be me who’d be set free. And on the other side of twelve years of pain, struggle, sacrifice, embarrassment and shame I’d be allowed to see clearly that truth.  There was never any power in my FEAR.

So imagine my surprise when I was able to stand up and dust myself off, shed twelve years of victimization and brokenness and replace them with a beautiful cloak of redemption, grace and love.  Standing fully in all of my magnificent power, today I am now free and able to Just. Be. Me.

BE Gone FEAR.  You are no longer welcome here.  And with that life became beautiful again.  A place prepared long before me and exquisitely awaiting my arrival.  And just like that my life truly began.

Happy New Year!

Shani

Continue Reading

Speak God I’m Listening

‘ Blankly, I stare into this world and wonder what we have become.  What animal or beast or ghastly spirit has taken hold of us so that we cannot even offer each other the most gentle courtesies.  A smile. A genuine hello. The invitation of our friendship through something as simple as just our mere […]

Continue Reading

Getting Past Why

Yesterday, after a whirlwind Friday night with friends followed by an early morning 5K, I found myself on the couch after lunch totally zapped. I’d planned to watch a movie and nap, but instead found myself immersed in an intense multi-part episode of Iyanla Vanzant’s “Fix My Life”. Now I love me some Iyanla.  I […]

Continue Reading

Forgiveness Starts with Me

It’s funny how quickly our lives can ebb and flow from the extremely happy to the profoundly sad, from the completely comfortable to the utterly chaotic and just as quickly return to calm. At times, I find myself in constant flux aiming for some routine balance of peace and happiness these days. Quite honestly, that’s […]

Continue Reading

Before and After Mother’s Day

Today, I am especially grateful for mothers like my friend Gina Tucker who agreed to grace me with her story today on the blog.  Gina’s story is  gritty and raw, yet a powerfully beautiful reminder of God’s power, grace and redemptive love.   Thank you Gina for sharing your story and giving a voice to […]

Continue Reading

It’s Meal Plan Mayhem: And I Need Your Help!

It’s “Meal Plan Mayhem” on the blog and all month long I’ll be featuring healthy and tasty recipes to ensure we can live lives we love. So whether you’re trying to drop a few pounds, get back to feeling good in your clothes or, like me, simply want to look as good on the outside […]

Continue Reading

Loving Them Was Killing Me

Needless to say this year has not disappointed me.  In fact, if we wrapped the year up today, I’d log it as epic and it would go down in my life story as one of the best ever.  Not only has releasing The Love Project, helped me realize the power of raising my voice, but […]

Continue Reading

Sign Me Up: I’m Your Girl

As I sit here on my flight headed back to Atlanta from The Love Project experience this weekend, my heart is full.  Who knew this little book inspired by pain would unleash so much brokenness and start a full blown movement toward healing our hearts so that we can truly live and be all God has […]

Continue Reading

Getting Out of My Way

There are these amazing moments in life when we give birth to ideas and dreams we have been nurturing for years.  Last Saturday was one of those moments for me.  Honestly, I cannot begin to articulate the feeling of standing strong and tall having risen above the persecution, the agony, the pain and defeat of […]

Continue Reading

Walking Into My Destiny

I am so honest to God full of emotion right now. I really don’t know where to start, but these are the times when writing is the only thing that makes sense. Yesterday, my dream turned into reality.  As I sat in my kitchen holding the proof copy of my first book, The Love Project, […]

Continue Reading